Friday, May 4, 2012

Update on my dad, or what it's going to be like parenting your parents!

So, my dad will need 24 hour  supervision/care from here on in. Yep, someone monitoring him 24/7 until he dies. His cognitive skills are poor and are not likely to come back.  He's no longer permitted to drive ( but since he's not capable of walking unaided to the car, no worries there!). He has no depth perception and is still weak on the left side. He can remember things that happened years ago, but some things and people he can't remember. Yesterday, he asked where my son was for example.  I told him, I don;t have a son, just my DD.  Poor DD, my dad can't even remember her name  3/4 of the time.  When she was home for a visit, he called her the wrong name during the entire visit, yet he remembered her BFF's name.

His lungs are congested again... I see another round of antibiotics in his future.

 My mother had such high hopes, and yesterday she was crushed. The realization that my dad will have to be constantly monitored and the responsibilities for his care will fall on her.  I'll be helping out as much as i can, but I'm going back to working shift work the end of June, so for 4 days I'll be out. Add in 2 days to my pt job, and I'll be off for 2 days out of 8.

 They are going to do an assessment on him to see how much care will be paid for and how much we'll have to help pay for.  Thank goodness that we have a family that will help out. We're planning a family meeting to get things sorted out and make the plan for having things added to the house like grab bars, etc. 

It is hard to watch a parent become a child again, including the wearing of a diaper, as his stoke has affected his bladder and bowels. My father is/was famous for having a bad aim, and now? Sitting is the preferred position.

 I'm sitting here laughing to myself, as tis better to laugh than to cry over this. Before my dad had his surgery, he said the worst things that could happen would be he'd died. I thought no, having a stoke would be the worst, the body would be here, but the personality would be gone.  Sadly, my worse thoughts came true.

we'll roll with the punches and see what life has to offer. I'm still going to be job hunting ( I made it very clear to my mom that when I get an offer, I'm gone, I'll rent the house and go from there).


10 comments:

Jolie said...

hugs. just lots and lots of hugs.

I have worried about being in this situation and wondered how I would cope. Wish I could be there to help.

its me, sam said...

Thanks Jolie!

The Witch said...

Sam,
Hugs also.
This is a very terrible situation to be in. I have witness this first hand. I can only hope that your family will work out a plan and stick to it. Your Mom shouldn't have to take the weight of this and I sincerely hope you can get some good outside help. It will be important for your Mom's well being also.
I really feel for you and your family and I'm sure you will all rally together.
Good luck on the job search and keep the resume's flowing.

Tanner said...

Best wishes to you and your family. It is very hard, and I dread when that time comes for my family. Thankfully, you have a close(r) family and the burden is not only on you or a selected few, but can be shared by all.

Northern Living Allowance said...

Sam, best wishes to all of you! It's very positive that you're all meeting to discuss how to manage his care - that's a sign of a strong family. I hope you can get some assistance from a day nurse, at least part of the time.

Hugs!

Louise said...

((hugs)) it's so hard, thinking of you and your mum

jpkittie said...

Wow - I am so sorry. This has got to be tough. hugs and prayers your way

B-Kat said...

Such a life changing event for everyone. I hope that there is a lot of outside help available.

Good luck with the job search!

Maureen said...

So nearly there with my MIL and without a supportive family so I know that one day it will all fall on me. But would I like to see her in care I really don't think so.

My heart breaks for your Mum unfortunately this is quite normal one left to soldier on, give her hugs from me...

Jane said...

So sorry Sam. It's so hard watching your parents decline. My dad went through prostate cancer treatment and ended up with a colostomy bag - that was NO picnic but we were grateful to have him around a while longer. My poor mother, however, had Parkinson's and severe dementia and that was so hard to watch. I'm feeling your pain and sending you hugs!

About Me

Who am I said Sam? I am.... a mother, a daughter, a dog owner, a PF